On a recent journey through a bag of Dove chocolates, I discovered two things. At least. First, they don't call it a "throw down bag" on the coupon for nothing. Second, I realized my future ideal (income producing) job. I mean, I would just be so good at it. Are you ready? You wanna know what it is?
I'm not sure what that means, but it might mean "eat another chocolate."
But okay, now that you're on the edge of your chair wanting to know--someday, they'll pay me loads of money to write the messages on the inside of chocolate wrappers!!
After all . . .
(In my day dream, it's okay to eat a whole bag of chocolates in a day, but that dream is going to cost me.)
I don't know if it will be Dove or maybe Hershey or Nestle who will want me on board because I really think I could do better. Clearly, Dove could use some new blood in their writing department.
They could use a writer with a little more integrity. You know, someone who wouldn't out right lie to try to get you to consume more of their product.
Phfft. Yeah right. Does chocolate really make me that dumb? (Well, how many did I just eat? That was real smart.)
Or a writer who won't assume you're consuming their product because you are an emotional basket case.
Well, maybe I am eating so many because I couldn't quite handle my day and resist chocolate too, but deep down I know the chocolate isn't going to help.
Oh, no, I lost my cheerful tone. Now who'll hire me?
How about instead of false wishes, this tidbit of useful information I recently read in the Nutrition Action Health Letter (May 2012 issue p. 7).
There's some info that you can use to truly make your life better.
Check out the advice Dove gives you.
Not bad advice, really. Especially the breathe part. Which admittedly, after a few yoga classes, I realize I'm not as good at as I once thought. But I'd love to unwrap a chocolate and find something like:
Good advice and I'd be learning Shakespeare, too.
If I got my dream job of chocolate wrapper writer, I'd do special orders in school colors and have math facts on the inside.
And an SAT series with vocabulary words inside.
And spelling words with their definition and language of origin for people aspiring to be one of those awesome kids in the National Spelling Bee this month!! (like my fabulous niece--Spell it, Emma!)
We'd be buying bags for our kids and for their teachers. Just wait and see. Someone will do it, and you can say it was my idea first.
So why are we wasting our calories on compliments from people who pretend they know you, but don't?
But if the candy company doesn't come looking for me, no big deal. Because according to that last chocolate, I'm better off where I am.
So, anyone expecting chocolate for Mother's Day this Sunday?