Your Fortune in Chocolate

On a recent journey through a bag of Dove chocolates, I discovered two things. At least. First, they don’t call it a “throw down bag” on the coupon for nothing. Second, I realized my future ideal (income producing) job. I mean, I would just be so good at it. Are you ready? You wanna know what it is?

Dove chocolate fortune "Feed your sense of anticipation"

I’m not sure what that means, but it might mean “eat another chocolate.”

But okay, now that you’re on the edge of your chair wanting to know–someday, they’ll pay me loads of money to write the messages on the inside of chocolate wrappers!!

After all . . .

Dove chocolate message "Day dreaming is free"

(In my day dream, it’s okay to eat a whole bag of chocolates in a day, but that dream is going to cost me.)

I don’t know if it will be Dove or maybe Hershey or Nestle who will want me on board because I really think I could do better. Clearly, Dove could use some new blood in their writing department.

They could use a writer with a little more integrity. You know, someone who wouldn’t out right lie to try to get you to consume more of their product.Dove chocolate wrapper message "Calories only exist if you count them"

Phfft. Yeah right. Does chocolate really make me that dumb? (Well, how many did I just eat? That was real smart.)

Or a writer who won’t assume you’re consuming their product because you are an emotional basket case.

Dove chocolate wrapper message "Chocolate won't let you down"

Well, maybe I am eating so many because I couldn’t quite handle my day and resist chocolate too, but deep down I know the chocolate isn’t going to help.

Oh, no, I lost my cheerful tone. Now who’ll hire me?

How about instead of false wishes, this tidbit of useful information I recently read in the Nutrition Action Health Letter (May 2012 issue p. 7).

dove chocolate wrapper altered to say "frequent consumption of calorie-dense food . . ."

There’s some info that you can use to truly make your life better.

Check out the advice Dove gives you.

Dove wrapper message "Unwrap, Breath, Enjoy"

Not bad advice, really. Especially the breathe part. Which admittedly, after a few yoga classes, I realize I’m not as good at as I once thought. But I’d love to unwrap a chocolate and find something like:

Dove chocolate wrapper edit "To thine own self be true" from Hamlet

Good advice and I’d be learning Shakespeare, too.

If I got my dream job of chocolate wrapper writer, I’d do special orders in school colors and have math facts on the inside.

dove chocolate wrapper edit pi-3.1419265

And an SAT series with vocabulary words inside.

And spelling words with their definition and language of origin for people aspiring to be one of those awesome kids in the National Spelling Bee this month!! (like my fabulous niece–Spell it, Emma!)

We’d be buying bags for our kids and for their teachers. Just wait and see. Someone will do it, and you can say it was my idea first.

So why are we wasting our calories on compliments from people who pretend they know you, but don’t?

Dove chocolate wrapper "You have a great laugh."


But if the candy company doesn’t come looking for me, no big deal. Because according to that last chocolate, I’m better off where I am.

Dove chocolate wrapper message "You are exactly where you are supposed to be"

So, anyone expecting chocolate for Mother’s Day this Sunday?

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About Sunny

My name is Sunny, and my husband and I have five "children" ages 19 to 4. I love learning. I have a M.F.A. in Humanities and dream about going back to school some day. I run around doing "mom" stuff, try to put a nutritious dinner on the table for whomever shows up, and I thrive on creative projects when possible. Mostly I strive to just keep up with the mountains and mole hills of day to day life.
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One Response to Your Fortune in Chocolate

  1. Brent says:

    I love the ideas! The possibilities are endless and so much better than what dove provides. Even fortune cookies have become useless.

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